BEING A GAY MARAUDER
by Venus133
Summary: Sirius and Remus fall in love and all that dating crap and stuff happens and nasty break ups, plus James is bound to find out eventually. it's pretty romantic, and I really suck at summaries but the stories good. Trust me
1. Remus's 'playboys'

**Unfortunately I am not J. K. Rowling so I did not create the Harry Potter world. This is my first Fanfiction so please review it, even if you hate it give me some feedback. Also I plan on posting further chapters.**

Remus and Sirius had been best friends since the day they meet on the Hogwarts express. That's all it ever was, tell it wasn't.

Sirius had dated many girls in his Hogwart days, more than he could remember. That was simple like it always had been, he had it down to an exact routine. He liked girls, he had too. He was Sirius, the ultimate player, by his 5th year he had snooged more than half the girls at Hogwarts.

Every time a thought of his soft lips pressed against Remus's popped up in his mind, he convinced himself that he was just bored, it had only been a thought, nothing more. And so it was, for 5 years. Everytime he caught himself checking out a guy, he told himself it was just a mistake. Everytime he saw one of his buds nude he told himself it was just a coincidence he went hard. But by his 6th year, Sirius could no longer pretend. He knew somewhere deep within that he liked Remus, as more than a friend, but he still couldn't admit that to himself.

It was during a particularly cold rainy day, where no one wanted to leave their dorms, when Sirius stumbled upon something that would break the walls of lies he built within himself.

Most of the gryffindors were huddled up in the common room all squished around the fire, trying to keep their hands warm. There wasn't much chatter today, grumpiness hung in the atmospheres like poison waiting to be inhaled. The sky was an ugly shade of grey and the wind made the tower rattle and shake from time to time.

"Hey guys, do you want to play a game of hide and seek?" James asked the crowd of gryffindors. Mutters of no and several heads shook their replies.

"I'll play." Sirius said standing up. That's one thing that was always great about Sirius, he was always up for whatever you threw at him. It didn't matter what it was, Sirius would try it. Except well, of course, being gay, he wasn't quite up for that yet.

"I guess I'll play too." Remus added as he put down his book.

"Yeah me too!" Peter said excitedly. From there, one by one the rest of the Gryffindors stood up deciding to join, plus it wasn't like they were doing anything else.

"Okay, so let's just stick within the commun room and the boys dormitories because everyone can get in those places." James announced, giving an angry glare at the girls. It wasn't their fault the boys couldn't enter their dormitories, but James seemed to think otherwise.

"I'll be it to start!" James said while rushing off to the door. "You guys have got 60 seconds starting… now !" James hopped out of the gryffindor house into the hallway. Faintly you could hear him counting down from 60.

Sirius darted for his dorm, he knew where to hide up in there. There was a hidden closet that he had only discovered the last week. It was nestled in a tight space between his and Remus's beds. It wouldn't have been noticeable to prying eyes, without the thin outline of the wood panelling against the wooden walls. There weren't any door knobs n'or handles, and the colour of the walls matched perfectly against those of the closet doors.

As he Rushed for the of the 6th years room, he caught a glance of the door to the hidden closet closing slowly without a sound. Curiosity took over and pushed Sirius forwards, he founds the edge of the panelling and pulled it from the wall revealing a most shocked and frightened Remus.

"Ohhh, it's just you. I thought it was James for a second." Remus whispered a smile spread his across his face. Sirius stood still unable to move his eyes away from Remus's dark green ones. He was having another moment were he felt the urge to lean forward and kiss Remus. He wanted to feel Remus's lips on his own, he wanted to tangle his hand in the other boys blonde curls, he wanted to hold him tight and never let go.

"I thought I was the only one who knew about this place." Remus whispered.

"Uh, oh, well." Sirius cleared his throat as a light shade of pink spread onto his cheeks. "I found it last week."

"Okay ready or not here I come!" Shouted James from down in the commun room area.

"You'd better go and hide, and close the closet door before he sees me too!" Sirius did as Remus instructed, then looked around the room for a place to hide. There wasn't much besides the 8 long beds and the chests that laid at the foots of them. James feet slamming against the cold cement stairs told Sirius he wasn't far from him. Sirius had to hide now. He slid under the closest bed to him which happened to be Remus's. It wasn't a good spot to hide, everyone always checked under the beds first, and there was always someone who hadn't found a good place and ran here for last minute coverage.

James was now in the room, Sirius could see the edge of his worn out sneakers from under the bed. His feet didn't stay long for a loud rumble erupted from the room below them dragging James's attention with it. Sirius let out a sigh, he wouldn't be found first. God he hated being it, he didn't like the fact that everyone was hiding from him, but yet they all knew where he was.

Sirius turned his attention to the underside of Remus's bed frame. It was old and dusty, there were even a couple spider webs tucked away in the corners. Stashed away in between the mattress and frame of the bed laid a couple of magazines. What was so secretive that these magazines couldn't be left out on his night stand? Sirius reached up and slid them out from the bars, the title in bright pink read, ´playboy'. A smirk hit Sirius's Lips, Remus was always quite reserved and he would have been the last marauder to have been suspected to have playboy magazines. Sirius looked out from under the bed, there wasn't anyone in the room except of course for Remus who was still confined in the small closet.

Sirius decided it was safe enough to snoop around in the magazines. He opened one up to the first page shock filled his eyes as they opened wide, he let out a gasp of horror before slamming the magazine shut. He had definitely not seen a couple of hot bikini girls, no he had seen quite the opposite. The page was filled with men. Men kissing each other, naked men, men laying in bed together and there was even one of two men having sex. Sirius was at a lost for thoughts, he opened up a different playboy and flicked through the pages, hoping these would be different. They weren't, but instead were all filled with the harry nude skin of men. Somewhere deep within hidden urges erupted, he tried desperately to put them away, to hide them from the world before anyone noticed. For Sirius it was taboo to be gay. It wasn't right it was all messed up he was just confused. He couldn't be gay. He just couldn't.

Sirius laid under the bed for the next few minutes trying to make up excuses for his urge to relook threw the magazines of naked men. Then a thought that he had long forgotten came to him, these were Remus's, Remus had bought them and had placed fake covers on the magazines, Remus had hid them under his bed. Remus had to be gay! For what other reason could he be hiding gay magazines? Sirius felt excitement take over his body.

Maybe Remus liked me as more than a friend. No! No! No! That would be disgusting, don't think like that Sirius, you're not gay, you don't like Remus! Just forget about all this and everything will go back to the way it was.

After a week had past the event of that knight hadn't worn off, he knew Remus was gay and he knew he was too, it didn't matter how much he tried to convince himself that he wasn't. An engine had started and he couldn't figure out how to turn it off. It didn't make much sense he had liked girls before he and still did now, but he also liked Remus too. It was all rather confusing and didn't help that every time he looked at Remus's perfect face he blushed a light shade of pink.


	2. Star night kisses

**Unfortunately I am not J. K. Rowling so I did not create the Harry Potter world. please REVIEW IT, even if you hate it give me some feedback please.**

Sirius and Remus had been put in detention together, when one of their pranks they were trying to pull on James and Lily didn't go so well. It had backfired terribly, leaving a huge mess of slimy goo on the floors of the astronomy tower. When filch discovered the mess he handed them each a mop and locked the door, trapping them up in the tower. Sirius had thought it would be a great idea to make the goo spell proof, he had different ideas now that he had to clean it up, the muggle way. The mess had been halfway cleaned when the sun had set, leaving them in only the light of the stars.

"Hey look it's the Big Dipper constellation!" Remus exclaimed pointing up into the sky. Sirius didn't look to where his fingers pointed, he stared instead at the barely visible outline of Remus's face. Even now in the dim light, Remus was perfect, longing with a pinch of agony filled his body. Why couldn't Sirius find a girl exactly like Remus? Or better yet why couldn't Remus be a girl? It would make life so much simpler for Sirius, girls where his thing, he knew exactly what to do for them to fall in love with him. But Remus wasn't a girl, and he was the opposite of easy to understand. And so were Sirius's feelings for Remus.

"God it's beautiful up here!" Remus exclaimed turning his attention to a star struck Sirius, who murmured with agreement. The two boys stared into each other's eyes, a faint reflection of the stars were visible in Moony's light blue eyes. The world around them seemed to slow to a stop and they were left with only the sound of a faint breeze whistling in the trees afar. Sirius stared on into the man he loved, his heart was beating fast and he realised there had been a long pause in the conversation. Determined to not make things awkward with one of his best friends just because he maybe kinda sorta really liked him. He racked his mind of things to say.

"You're beautiful." Sirius regretted it the moment it had left his lips. He realized how romantic it seemed only now. He had wanted it to sound light and joking, but the words had slipped out in a voice he wasn't expecting. He blushed a deep shade of Crimson but didn't break his glance toward Moony. He was relieved when Remus didn't immediately back away in disgust. Even in the darkness a shocked look was distinguishable upon his face, but it wasn't long before a smile played at his lips and very subtlety he got closer to Sirius. They were now less than a foot away and Sirius could feel Moony's light breath against his face. It smelt of something sweet and reminded him of strawberries. His own breath got caught in his throat and he had to remind himself to breathe. Remus slowly moved his hand away from his side and pulled a piece of Sirius's long dark hair away from his face, tucking it behind his ear. A shiver ran down his spine at Moony's touch, he licked his lips unconsciously and moved slightly closer towards Remus. Their faces were only inches away from one another and and they were sharing quick glances at each other's lips. Remus suddenly moved closer turning his head off to the side at the last moment, and in that moment Sirius thought he was about to kiss him. But he was mistaken. Remus had gotten so close to Sirius that his lips brushed against his ear as he spoke.

"You look scared." It wasn't even a whisper but Sirius heard it all the same.

"I am."

Remus turned to look at Sirius in the eyes and without a moment's hesitation he leaned forward and lightly kissed Sirius's lips. Sirius was too startled to move a muscle, his whole body froze up at this intimate touch. He couldn't believe he was kissing Remus under the stars in the astronomy tower. It was all too real too believe. Remus pulled back only seconds after, he looked embarrassed and ashamed of himself.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have." Remus muttered not making eye contact. He had felt Sirius's lack of enthusiasm was from horror at what Remus had done, rather of shock and not being able to comprehend that what he had been fantasizing about for years was finally happening. Without thinking it threw Sirius grabbed Remus's chin lightly and pulled it up making him look into Sirius's eyes. Words didn't come to him so he took everything he wanted to say to Remus and put it into a kiss. He draped his hands around Remus's waist pressing his hard body against the boy's. Moony let out a quiet gasp at the sudden action, he could feel Sirius's lips form into a smirk. Very slowly, still unsure he placed his hands around Sirius's neck and waist. Sirius ran his tongue along Moony's bottom lip asking for entrance, he complied and when the kissed deepened Sirius tasted the sweet strawberries he has smelt earlier. Remus had moved his hands up into Sirius's perfectly soft dark hair, he was pulling on it lightly trying desperately to get their bodies as close as they could manage. They kissed on and on, but when they finally broke apart they were left gasping for air. Sirius let out a small laugh as he turned to lean over the edge of the cement railing. Remus joined, and they stared down at the empty school grounds as realization of what they had just did sunk into their minds.

"I can't believe that just happened." Sirius said running a hand through his messy brown hair. They both let out a short laugh still letting the full impact sink in.

"You know, you're a pretty good kisser." Remus exclaimed turning to look over at Sirius's silhouette.

"I've had some practice." Sirius said a smile playing at the edges of his lips. A feeling of pure happiness was in the air, this was everything he had dreamed of and more.

"You wouldn't say!" Remus said sarcastically rolling his eyes, it was a known fact Sirius had snogged more girls than anyone else had managed to do. "But umm…" Remus didn't know how to phrase what he wanted to ask, he felt embarrassed to even be asking, but curiosity pushed him forward. "Are you, umm.. you know, gay?"

Sirius didn't know the answers himself, he had been wondering that for many weeks now. It was too complicated to think about and in the end he always ended up frustrated with his mixed emotions.

"I don't know really. I've kinda always liked girls, and trust me I still do." Remus rolled his eyes as he remembered what he saw in the broom closet a couple weeks ago. Sirius and an older ravenclaw girl had been to say the least in a very compromising position. "But well, umm, I like you too. And you're not exactly a girl."

"I'm glad you noticed." Remus rolled his eyes again, but he looked contempt.

Sirius blushed and made sure to not look at Remus, he had just admitted he liked another boy. It felt wrong to say it, his stomach clenched and he felt dirty, like someone had rubbed mud on all his insides and now he was filled with filth.

Remus took a step closer to Sirius, still looking down at the gates to Hogwarts. He felt Sirius's discomfort rush off him like heat waves.

"Your bi." Remus spoke in a matter of fact tone that echoed confidence in his predictions.

Sirius let this sink in for a couple moments. Bi. Ok so I'm bi, that's kinda simple. I can deal with that. He let out a sigh, trying to forget about all his stress that kept building up.

"And your gay?" Sirius asked.

"Yep." Remus replied making the p pop.

"I kinda figured." Sirius said remembering the magazines he had found under Remus's bed a week ago.

"What! How?" Remus was shocked to hear that someone suspected him for being gay. He had made a lot of effort to hide his true likings from the world. In 5th year he had even gotten a girlfriend just so people wouldn't think something was off.

Sirius smirked at the boys worried face. "I saw your 'play-boys'." Sirius used his air quotation marks on the word playboy.

Remus stared at Sirius, letting his face become as red as a tomato, he swallowed and looked away he couldn't bare to look at anyone. He was so embarrassed he wanted to die right then there.h He didn't want to deal with the words he had most definitely not wanted Sirius to say. He hoped to wish it all away, he wanted to wake up and realize he was dreaming.

On the other side Sirius was laughing at Remus's embarrassment, it was fun to pick at Remus's not so innocent magazines. After a moment or so Sirius walked up behind Remus and wrapped his body against Remus's back side so that they were pressed together. He could feel Remus shiver at this. Slowly just like Remus had done to him earlier he leaned in so that his lips just barely brushed against Moony's ear when he spoke. "I think they're hot."

Before Remus could turn around and start there make out session again, a loud banging of feet arrived from the door. Sirius quickly removed himself against Remus, and started fixing his hair and and tucking in his shirt. At the last moment he grabbed the mop he had been using earlier and began to look busy. The lock clicked and door to the astronomy tower flew open, filch came stomping out gasping for air.

"If it, gasp, were up to, gasp, me I'd keep you here, gasp, tell this tower was sparkling clean, but unfortunately dumbledore!" Filch mumbled an array of insults that couldn't be understood before continuing. "won't let me punish students properly! And now you two good for nothings, are out of detention!" Filch looked from Sirius's bright red cheeks to Remus's messy hair and untucked shirt. The mop he was supposed to be cleaning with was left long forgotten on the other side of the tower, Filch noticed this too.

Remus and Sirius didn't hesitate long before rushing down the stairs before questions could be asked.


	3. Griffindoor common room

Remus and Sirius made their way to the gryffindor common room silently, but before either of them could give the fat lady the password Sirius turned to Remus.

"Can we, keep what happened in the astronomy tower between us, please?"

Remus was slightly perplexed, he hadn't expected them to start dating publicly, but all the same he had hopes. But he would respect Sirius's wishes.

"Yeah of course."

The following morning had been a rather awkward one. Usually they, meaning the 6th year boys, would shower and change before classes started. James however, took no part in the uncomfortable feeling and continued on as he did everyday. He striped down and hopped into a shower. Not bothering about his friends seeing him naked. After sharing one giant bathroom for 6 years there wasn't much left of anybody you hadn't seen. Sirius for one had seen James butt naked more times then he could count, Remus on the other hand was slightly more reserved, and Sirius had yet to see his front side nude. It was a sight he was most anxious to see, a shiver ran down his spine as he thought about Remus.

The two boys were trying not to look at each other as they undressed, they weren't just a couple of guys anymore, they were gay guys. It felt strange to be naked in front of someone who could be checking you outfit. Sirius hoped he could catch a glance of shirtless Remus but, at the same time he wasn't sure if he was ready to enter the nude stage. It felt just out of reach from his comfort zone.

Remus was the first to hop into a stall. Sirius removed his dark blue underwear and made his way to a shower. Before he could even get in James bursted out of his shower soaking wet. He wasn't covering anything nor was he trying too, Sirius swallowed and looked away. James's body was definitely hot, but Sirius wouldn't let himself think like that, James was his best friend and he knew he definitely didn't have feelings for him. Sirius pulled the shower curtain out blocking his waist and down from james view.

"Have you seen my shampoo? I can't find it." James asked. Sirius turned his head to respond but immediately turned back. Realizing James had gotten closer and was still completely naked, soaking wet.

"God James put a towel on or something! And no I haven't seen it." Sirius blushed and pushed the curtain aside taking a step into the shower. He turned on the hot water and let his mind run blank, showers were Sirius's quiet time. It had become a place where he didn't need to think about anything or anybody. Today however was bound not to be relaxing for not a minute later was the peace disrupted, yet again by James.

"Hey can I borrow your shampoo?" James had pulled the curtain aside and poaked his head into the stall.

Sirius jumped and dropped the bar of soap he had in his hands, he stumbled to pick it up and placed it on the shelf.

"Shit you scared the living crap out of me!" then realizing James was still staring at him he made a move to cover himself with his hands. And turned his body away from James.

"Haven't you ever heard of privacy?" Murmured Sirius.

"Nope," Sirius rolled his eyes and tried to pull the curtain closed on his face. "Oh come on Sirius we're both guys, what's the problem."

Well I don't know maybe I'm bisexual and and don't want other dudes seeing me naked! Sirius thought, tho he wouldn't ever dare say anything like that out aloud. He blushed and rushed to come up with a more appropriate answer.

"I just don't… I don't feel, comfortable being naked around people." Sirius finished looking down at the tiled floor. He didn't feel like his normal confident self, with his clothes stripped away he felt exposed and week.

"Tell that to all the girls you hooked up with!" James exclaimed with a smirk. Sirius felt that was a different situation, he was used to girls, not guys. It was all so new to him, these feelings he had towards guys. "Oh and can I borrow your shampoo?"

James's head was still stuffed between the shower curtain, he sneaked a hand in the stall and Sirius gave him his shampoo bottle.

"Ok now go away, before I jinx you!"

James backed out of his stall with his hands up in a surrender. Sirius enjoyed the rest of his shower James free.

The rest of the day went on uneventful, Sirius and Remus continued to stare at each other when they thought no one else was watching, James tried numerous times to Impress lily, and peter well he, he was his usual unimpressive self.

The common room was still and soundless that night for the exception of a page turning every now and then from Remus's spell book. Remus was trying to study but thoughts of his body pressed up against Sirius flooded his mind and it made it impossible to concentrate. He had a raging boner and it wasn't going away. James and Sirius had left a couple hours earlier to get some extra quidditch practice in. It had grew dark while they were gone and Remus suspected they would be back soon.

A couple minutes later there was a loud creak as the portrait door slid open and James and Sirius hopped into the common room.

"Hey Remus, how's the book going?" Sirius asked. Remus knew he couldn't care less about what he was reading, Sirius was never much into books or school work. He was just asking to make conversation.

"Hey." Remus replied, he closed his book and placed it on his lap covering his crotch area. He didn't want anyone to notice he was hard, Sirius had taken a seat on the other side of Remus's couch, he spread his body out placing his hands under his head as he laid across the couch. His arm muscles were sticking out of his t-shirt and the outline of his nipples were visible through the light red of his top. Remus gulped at the sight, god he wanted Sirius so bad right now. He would love to lean over and kiss and the hot brunette, but unfortunately James was still in the room. Sirius caught a Remus checking him out and smirked.

"Hey Remus, would you mind quizzing me." Sirius asked with a hint of seductiveness.

"Umm, sure." Remus replied biting his lip, as a light blush appeared on his cheeks.

"Sirius wanting to study! Well that's something I've never seen. Are you sure you're feeling okay?" James asked looking dumbfounded.

"I'm feeling great, just don't want to flunk too many test, you know I have to at least pass to come back to Hogwarts next year."Sirius's grades were all way above passing level, and James was aware of this but he didn't question it. He assumed Sirius and Remus were going to try and pull a prank on him, he'd be careful to keep his eyes open when they were around.

"Ok then, i'm going to go polish my broom."

As soon as James was no longer in ear shot, Sirius sat up looked at Remus and smirked.

"And let the fun begin."

Sirius crawled closer to Remus and leaned over to place a soft kiss on his lips. He put his hands on each side of Remus's chest and slowly ran them down to the waistband of his pants. He let his hands linger there a moment pulling at his pants. He could feel Remus shiver under his hands. Sirius removed the book sitting on Moony's lap letting it drop to the floor with a soft bang. At once Sirius saw the bulged in Moony's pants, and he knew how much Remus wanted him. Sirius leaned forward and began kissing Remus again, this time with more passion. He gently pushed him down so that Remus was now laying on the sofa with Sirius straddling his lap. The kiss deepened and before they knew it they were gasping for air. Remus sat up and removed his legs from under Sirius and in his turn pushed down Sirius and straddled him. Sirius let out a small laugh.

"Look at that, who would have thought Moony to be a little dominant." Sirius whispered. Remus cut off his speech with a strong kiss, that traveled down to his neck and back up to his ear. Sirius moaned lightly when Remus began sucking his ear lobe.

"Looks like I found your sweet spot." Remus whispered in his ear. Remus gave it a little bite and Sirius moaned again louder this time. He sat up suddenly bringing Remus up with him. He wasted no time in pressing his mouth against Remus neck searching for his weakness. Where was that place that would make him go crazy? Sirius continued to suck and kiss every part of the boy's neck. Tell he heard him gasp quietly. This was it, this spot right there was the most sensitive skin on Remus's neck. Sirius sucked it lightly then gave it a quick love bite and sure enough Remus moaned and his hips jerked up toward Sirius.

"You're going to leave a mark." Remus whispered.

"You'll enjoy getting it."

Remus laughed while he played with Sirius's soft hair. "I don't doubt that, but people will think something's up if I have a hickey on my neck."

Sirius hadn't thought about that, but it was a good thing Remus had mentioned it because other wise Remus would have ended up with a whole lot more hickeys. Sirius planted one last kiss on his neck before turning his attention back towards Remus's lips.

Remus and Sirius had began moving their hips in an effort to get more friction between their crotches. Moony let out a slightly louder moan then his last, his cheeks took on a bright shade of pink and he was trying desperately to control his urge to moan again.

Sirius noticed Moony's embarrassment. "I like knowing I can make you feel like this. Don't hide it, it's natural."

They grinded on while kissing for a couple minutes then Remus broke the kiss, out of breath. "I can't, gasp, too close, gasp, I don't want to, you know…" Remus looked away he felt awkward discussing this with Sirius. Sirius kissed Remus once more,it was soft and sweet then, he disentangles their limbs and took a seat close to Remus. He placed an arm around Remus's shoulder and they let their heads drop onto each other's. Silence filled the room but it wasn't uncomfortable, everything was just pleasant and peaceful.

"So," Remus cleared his throat before continuing. "What are we."

Sirius didn't answer at first, he had the urge to say Gryffindors, but he felt this was a serious moment and his humour wouldn't have been appreciated.

"Whatever you want us to be." Sirius finally decided this was the safest answer. Remus took a long time to respond, he seemed to be trying to figure out exactly how to word it.

"I want to date you, I want to do things couples do together. I really do like you, but I've never had a boyfriend so I don't really know how things like this work. "

"Im as clueless as you are, but I don't think i'm ready to come out as bisexulle yet," his heartbeat picked up, fear rushed thru his veins. Sirius hadn't realized how much this all terrified him. He had never cared what people thought of him, particularly because most people liked him, he was thought of as cool, popular and hot. Would that all change if people found out he was into guys? He didn't want to know, so he avoided thinking about it too deeply.

"You can be my secret boyfriend." Sirius said turning to plant a kiss of Remus's cheek. As long as no one knew things could all stay the way they were.


End file.
